Is Your Relationship Healthy?

healthy relationships, is your relationship healthy

“Falling in love and having  a relationship are two different things” – Keanu Reeves

Relationships are at the center of everything in our lives. We make friends, we fall in love, we connect with people all around us in the world – it all sounds kind of beautiful, doesn’t it?

Being in love can be one of the most amazing and rewarding feelings one can experience but, sometimes love can feel not-so-great or even cause you to stay in a unhealthy relationship just because you are holding on to that feeling.

How can you tell if you are in a healthy relationship? You may think that this should be a pretty obvious thing to figure out, someone should be able to tell they are in a bad relationship.  As an outside perspective, spotting an unhealthy relationship tends to be fairly easy but, sometimes when you are the one involved, your emotions can cloud your judgements and create a skewed perspective of the situation.

Are you and you significant other open and honest with each other?

Your significant other should not only be someone you love romantically, they should also be your best friend. By this, I mean you should feel comfortable to talk to them about literally anything – without fearing judgement.

Communication is key to any relationship.

Communication helps build a foundation of trust that is essential in a healthy relationship. You should be able to talk freely and express a desire to learn the details of each other’s personalities and lives. This allows for the establishment of a deeper and more meaningful connection with you partner.

Not only should you be talking about your lives and things like the type of day you had, you should also be talking about any issues that come up pertaining to the relationship. This part can be a little uncomfortable for a lot of people because they may feel as if they may upset their partner or cause an unnecessary fight. If something bothers you, it is worth talking about.

Seriously – talk through issues!!

A relationship can only work if both individual’s involved are willing to work together through any issues or rough patches that come up. This can be hard to really, actually understand, especially in newer relationships where you both may seem to get along perfectly during the “honeymoon phase”. You may think that you will be able to work together but when the time comes, someone falls short.

Don’t be naive going into a relationship. Expect rough patches, expect to be mad/upset with your partner at some point – trust me, it will happen. This is all normal. But being able to talk through these emotions can help resolve any problems before they turn into a bigger issue. If you bringing up an issue that you have in the relationship is met with hostility from your partner, this is not a very good sign. They should be willing to work through things with you.

Main point – you should be able to talk to your partner about anything and everything.

Is your partner supportive?

Being able to support one another is another very important aspect of a healthy relationship. You should feel like your partner is supportive of the things you are involved in whether it’s school, work, or even a hobby. They should not be making you feel judged about the positive decisions you make in your life.

Do not let a relationship get in the way of your goals!!I have seen a lot of people that give up going away to a really great university solely because they didn’t want to be apart from their boyfriend/girlfriend or other situations such as that. This breaks my heart because no one should feel like they have to give up on their dreams or goals in order to keep their relationship.

Relationships, if they are stable and strong, can last the distance and time apart. Although it is possible, I am definitely not saying that it will be easy. There is a lot of trust involved and a lot of emotional support that is going to be needed (on both sides) to get through being apart for an extended period of time. BUT if that is was you truly want to do, you’re partner should be able to be there for you. Even if they are upset about your decision, they should still want what is best for you and be respectful of your life goals.

Don’t neglect emotional support

Relationships are all about emotions – hopefully positive ones. You and your significant other should make each other happy, truly happy. They should make you feel special in a way that you know they love you and truly care about you. You shouldn’t have to guess to question your worth to them.

If you are reflecting on your relationship and you see that yes, they do make you happy BUT… then there is an issue. Your partner being caring and loving towards you (or even just being nice) should not be a conditional thing.

Apart from simply making each other happy, you also need to know how to be there for each other. As sappy as it may sound, your significant other should be your safe place. You should be able to turn to them when times get hard and know they will be there to comfort you and do their best to help you in any way they can.

You should never feel ashamed or embarrassed about your feelings/emotions around your partner. Being able to express yourself, including your emotions, freely is so important not only for the relationship, but for your own mental integrity.

express an interest in each other

This goes beyond the physical attraction you may have towards your partner. I think one of the best feelings is when someone genuinely wants to learn things about you. Things like what your favorite color is or what weird quirks you may have; things that seem insignificant to you yet, they still want to know. Being involved and interested in your partner’s life is important – and visa versa.

Get to know each other.

Are you able to be yourself around your significant other?

As I mentioned before, your partner should also be your best friend. You should feel like you can be your uncensored, real self when you are around them – and be comfortable with it.

Having compatible personalities and shared interests is a great basis for a relationship. This may make it easier to feel comfortable talking to each other because you understand each other and have lot of things to connect with on.

You shouldn’t feel like you have to change yourself to be with them.

If you feel like you are constantly trying to appease your partner or trying to meet some sort of expectations that they have for you, you may want to rethink the relationship. I can say from personal experience, staying in a relationship where you feel like you are constantly trying to prove yourself to them and that you are never going to be good enough can be very damaging to your own emotions and sense of self worth.

I am not saying that you should cling to bad habits or that you and your partner should have everything in common. You may not agree with everything but, even if they may not share an interest you have – they should at least be respectful of it and not make you feel like you aren’t “allowed” to have that interest or make you feel guilty about it. Everyone has their own hobbies and interests, keep that in mind.


Relationships can be a beautiful thing, a personal experience shared between two people who love each other. Find someone who is willing to be there for you through the good and the bad, someone who loves you for who you are and supports you in your endeavors. Find someone who genuinely cares for you and is interested in learning everything there is to know about you.

Remember your worth, and do not accept being treated less than what you deserve. Even if you are happy sometimes or sometimes they make the relationship worth your while. You deserve to be happy loved unconditionally – remember that.

Fairwinds,

Capn Kelso

join the adventure, subscribe to newsletter

Why I Started a Blog

Why I Started My Blog

The Reason Behind the Blog

“Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life” – Pablo Picasso

Hey guys, I wanted to post a more personal sort of blog post for you today. I didn’t really know how I wanted to structure this post in terms of what I wanted to talk about so I just decided to sort of introduce myself as a blogger and explain to you why I started this blog in the first place. Interested? Great!

Let me start by telling you that I am a full time college student and I also have a part-time job. During the week I am typically very busy catching up on school work, studying for exams, and working right after school into the evening hours.

[learn how to study better!]

I promise you I am not complaining about this busy lifestyle! I am a type of person that loves to have something to do at pretty much all times. Although, every once in a while I do like to relax and veg out on the couch just like anyone else.

What this lifestyle lacked, however, was any sort of creative aspect; which I feel is a key part of who I am. I love creating. I am fascinated by creating pretty much anything. I draw, make jewelry, attempt to paint, and even design and make coasters on the side. A more internal creative outlet I have though is writing.

I have been expressing myself through words and stories since I can remember. I have a box in my closet full of stories and unfinished books I have written over the years, starting from when I was in elementary school. I am not saying any of them were “expert author” material but I was still proud of them. (honestly, some of them are super weird)

One of my fondest childhood memories was visiting my grandmother who had a typewriter. Now, I am not old enough to remember a time without computers so I was just that weird kid who preferred to use a typewriter instead of the computer. I would stay up late at her house and spend long hours of the day locked away in the spare room typing away, creating story after story.

Now that I am older and much busier I don’t have the time to sit down and just write stories all day long anymore. When I heard of blogging and started to look into it I really liked the idea of being able to share my thoughts with people who might actually want to hear them!

I started getting more serious about starting a blog this year after doing tons of research on the matter. Choosing the title of my blog was probably the hardest, but I love the one I ended up with because I feel like it kind of captures a piece of me.

My best friend, Krystal, and I met in the 7th grade and we have been friends ever since (we are both turning 22 this year -2018). When we were younger we had nicknames that we had given to each other. I called her Krys and she called me Kelso.

I never really liked being called Kelso but it has kind of grown on me over the years, even though she is the only person that I would ever let call me that. In order to add to this nicknamed I added “captain” (capn) to the front of it. I am not really sure when that came about or why I decided on that but that is what it is today.

I had to think really hard about the direction I wanted to take my blog in terms of content. I am a pretty diverse person, if that makes any sense. I am interested in a lot of different things and the idea of being tied down to one ultra-specific niche did not really seem like my kind of thing.

I wanted my blog to be about my life or rather, life in general. I wanted it to be a place I could express myself as well as talk about the topics I am interested in, and maybe even give out some advice along the way!

There we have it! Capn Kelso’s guide to living

I hope you all stick around with me on this adventure!

Fairwinds!


Join the Adventure!

Mind Food Monday | The Science of Studying

How Your brain wants you to study

Study Tips Using Physiological Psychology

The big question a lot of students have is what is the best way to study? You may have never even been given a straight forward answer. It is true that individuals have different learning types and may have a way to study that works better for them than it does for someone else. But, how does your BRAIN want you to study? Maybe learning a little more about how your brain processes information can help you devise a great study plan that will actually work!

Repetition, repetition, repetition

This may come as no surprise but, repetition is one of the key components in pushing information from short-term memory into long-term memory in order for you to be able to recall it later on. The more times you go over your notes and information, the more likely you are to remember it for your test. Flashcards can be a great way to implement this idea because you are seeing it over and over as your practice your flash card set.

Emotional Context

Most of your life memories that you are able to recall are ones that are emotionally significant to you. This can be positive or negative depending on the memory. You might vividly remember your 4th birthday party because that’s you met your best friend and it was Elmo theme which you were obsessed with at the time so you remeber this as one of the best days EVER! You may also remember the time you almost drowned in a pool because you were trying to impress the cool, big kids and swam into the deep end. The point is, you remember these events because there is a significant and strong emotion behind them.

This may be a hard concept to apply to studying but, maybe by watching a video on the topic made by someone you really enjoy watching or someone who jokes around about the topic that you also enjoy. Sometimes, I find that studying with a friend (even though that might pose a distraction) can help you remember more of the information. As you both talk things over, the conversation might stick in your mind better than just reading over your notes.  For example, you might remember something they said about a concept or the fact that they pronounced one of your vocabulary words weird. Whatever it is, you will be able to recall the context of the conversation and therefore your information during the test.

notebook and flashcards

Create A Study Environment

This sort of goes along with the whole concept of emotional memory but, expanding on that, you are more likely to remember something if you are in the same environment that you studied in. Studying in an academic environment, such as your university, might be the best idea. Studying at school also gives you the advantage of having fewer distractions. If you can’t study on campus, for whatever reason, there may be a simple solution! Try create yourself a constant study space in your room where you do all of your studying in preparation for your tests! You don’t even really need to physically create a study space. You can achieve the same goal by simply studying in the same place in your apartment – your desk, the kitchen table, wherever you study the best. This also helps kick your brain into learning mode because you (and your brain) are used to studying in this spot so, when you are in this space, your brain prepares for learning! When you take your test, if you are struggling to remember something that you KNOW you went over you can try visualizing your study space and try to recall the memory of you studying that concept. By using this method, you might have a better chance of actually remembering it.

Smell Your Notes

Okay, I don’t mean to literally smell them..but you’ll understand. Emotion isn’t the only thing that can enhance memory retention, smells can also help as well. You may be thinking to yourself this cannot possibly be true! but, think about this for a minute. Have you ever driven past a coffee shop or smelled someone’s perfume and the smell itself starts bringing back memories. The smell is so familiar to you that you can remember some of the memories surrounding the time when the scent was present.To incorporate this idea into studying, you could diffuse an essential oil of your choice (peppermint and lemon are good for concentration) in your study space or wear a certain perfume when you study AND when you go to take the test. This may not always be the most ideal or practical strategy. Luckily, what I have found also works is chewing mint gum both when studying and when taking tests or eating chocolate. Because the senses of smell and taste are very closely related in terms of how your brain processes their specific sensory information, this can be a good loop-hole for the times when you don’t have a diffuser handy during your test (which is probably quite often).

Don’t Just Read Your Notes

Even though repetition is very important (as we went over previously) you DON’T want to just sit there and read your notes over and over again. Not only is this method super boring, it might not even be the best strategy to help your brain absorb the information. One thing I always recommend for anyone who wants to develop better study habits is to rewrite your notes. Not only does it your notes look nicer and more organized, it also allows you the chance to go through all of the information a second time and even give you an idea of concepts you don’t quite understand/may need more clarification on. Another approach to this is to add images to your notes! Pictures are very easy for your brain to process and recall later on because there are more components for it to latch on to. So, draw out processes and make diagrams! Make your notes as simplistic as possible to give your brain an easier time.

Switch It Up

Expanding a bit on the previous tip of not only reading your notes several times, you should also switch content types in order to look at the information in several different ways. Let me explain. When you read your notes, you’re looking at words, and if you add drawings – images. This is all great stuff for your brain BUT you might need to give your brain more options. You can watch videos about the topic, play games designed for learning the concept (if possible), quiz yourself, make flow charts, etc. – basically do anything and everything you can with the information. This lets you hear, read and visualize the information which is GREAT for recall because it requires the recruitment of many different senses. Ultimately, this means that the same information is being processed several different ways in severeal areas of the brain.

Untitled design(4).png

Break Often

I feel like this is another obvious one. You may feel inclined to put off studying until you have no choice but to attempt to cram a month’s worth of information into your poor, over-worked brain in 8 hours. As some of you may already know, this is definitely not the best thing to do. For one, it is extremely stressful which does not help learning. Your brain (and you) do not typically work well under stress. Spreding your studying out a few days will often prove to be very beneficial. You could divide up your notes into a few main sections/topics and go over one of these a day for a few days leading up to your exam. Breaking up the amount of information that you are trying to have your brain process and retain will be much more effective!

You notes are not all you should break up, however. You should also incorporate breaks into your study time about every 90 minutes or so. Taking short breaks – about 5-10 minutes – will help to increase the amount of information being retained by allowing your brain the time to actually process what you just went over. Don’t get too distracted during these breaks because that might lead to major procrastination, which will be no help at all!

Sleep is Key

Last, but CERTAINLY not least – YOU NEED TO SLEEP! As a college student, I know from experience that some days you will realize how much work you’ve been putting off and now – it’s crunch time. You stay up all night in an energy-drink/caffeine enduced panic trying to get as much work done as you can before the sun comes up. I know we have all heard this time after time that sleep is good for you. But guys…this is true! Your brain needs time to rest and replenish it’s energy for the next day. Just think about all the work it has to do every day to keep you alive and learning! Not only is sleep a great habit for healthy living, it also helps with studying! While you sleep your brain is still active, processing information and events from your day. This information includes all the studying you did that day. So, while you sleep your brain essentially “keeps studying” and works on transferring that information into your long-term memory. Pretty neat, right?


I have learned a lot about the processes and functions of the brain over the years, being a Biology/Psychology major. I find it really fascinating to learn how these sort of behind-the-scene processes of the brain work and love to apply this knowledge to help better my own habits and life. I’m happy I have the opportunity to share some of this information with you and I hope that maybe you learned something or at least were entertained!

Leave comments below if you try any of these study tips and how it went! Also, let me know how YOU study? I’d love to hear from you!

Fairwinds!

Join the Adventure!

How Social Media May Be Ruining Your Life

Is social media ruining your life_

Ways Social Media Is Ruining Your Life

Social media has definitely been an ever-growing presence in today’s society. This has been very influential in many ways, some of them good. It has allowed us to connect and share information with people around the world. We can learn about different places and people simply by looking at their profile. We can actually feel like we know these people, understand them and sometimes, we want to be like them. We see their fancy posts when they went out to dinner or a party at some seemingly high-end place you’ve never even heard of. They’re vacationing in exotic places you can only imagine going to and doing things you dream of doing. After looking at these posts you may look back on your own life and begin to doubt yourself. Don’t let other people on social media run your life.

Posting the Positive

What we post on social media is, for the most part, the positive moments – the highlights of our lives. When you look at someone’s posts on their social media, you only get half of the real picture. You see what they WANT to post, what they WANT you to see. Only they know what is happening on their side of the screen, or “behind the curtain”. We look at these positive posts being practically shoved in our face and with that can come an overwhelming need/want to fit in with these people, even if we don’t know them. We want to have what is being perceived as the perfect life or #lifegoals. What we tend to forget are that these are real people living real lives. Life isn’t perfect, and that is okay. Every one has ups and downs. 

Likes & Followers

Sometimes it may seem like worth is measured in likes and followers. Your popularity and value to the world is strictly based on how many people (strangers) like your posts or follow whatever feed. There are even cases when people get so caught up in the numbers they forget to enjoy the real moments in their life because they are too worried about taking the perfect picture to post. Worried about what is going to get the most likes. Social media used to be a fun thing when it first started. A brand new, simple way to communicate with friends and family, and maybe even meet some new people that you would never normally meet. Social media is a connection to the world. This can be both a positive and negative thing, depending on how we utilize it. You don’t need to worry about your likes or follow count, have fun with social media. Have fun sharing the things you are passionate about or the exciting moments in your life without worrying about the numbers. Don’t go through life with your face shoved up to a phone screen – there’s a whole world out there, go explore it!  

Stop Comparing

Because of the overbearing presence social media has in our lives, it has become very easy to compare ourselves with others. Learn to reflect on all of the things you have accomplished in your own life. (Even if you think someone’s accomplishments are “better”). Be proud of what you have done. The only thing that comparing yourself accomplishes is adding to the anxiety and stress you put on yourself striving to achieve what you think is the “perfect life”. That “perfect life” your looking at isn’t real. Stop comparing yourself to that girl or guy on the internet. If you want to change your life and accomplish more, put yourself on the track to get there! Make the person that you look up to be YOU.

A strong need to fit in and look or act a certain way can be especially concerning in the younger crowd. This can lead to all sorts of problems including social peer pressures. Kids think they need to do certain things they are seeing on social media because if they do it might make them “popular”. And let’s face it, people nowadays will do the dumbest things for popularity (*cough* tide pod challenge? *cough*). At that point, you definitely don’t want to be like those people on the internet. Be your own person, even online. Do something different from everyone else and be yourself.

#procrastination

I have talked about procrastination before in another post here on my blog [read it]. We all have a tendency to get distracted by more entertaining or enticing activities that seem way more exciting then the tasks we need to be doing. How much does social media play a role in our distraction? Usually A LOT. Instead of doing homework or house work, we could be catching up on the latest posts on Instagram. I mean, how can we sit and do tedious work when we might miss a new post! I think we need to remind ourselves that the posts will be there waiting for us long after the work is done. Don’t be defeated by an app!


Overall social media is both a good AND bad presence in our lives. But, since it seems like it’s here to stay we might as well learn how to live with it in a healthy way. Don’t let it ruin your life.

Fairwinds!

Join the Adventure!

Organize Your Life | Top 10 Apps For College Students

10 of The Best Apps For College Students : Organization & Studying


With all of the improvements in technology over the past years, school and learning seems much more readily accessible. So, if you’re ready to improve your study habits or maybe get a bit more organized just keep reading to learn about the apps that can get you there!

1| Khan Academy
khan academy

This is honestly one of my favorite apps/websites to use while studying. They have so many well put together videos on hundreds of topics! Their creators make the concepts simple and easy to learn. The topics are divided into sections with videos as well as a short quiz for each section. This helps really solidify in the information in your mind. Next time you have a test, check this out! They also have course sets for exams such as the SAT, MCAT and NCLEX which covers topics you can expect to see on those tests. This is just overall a great app for learning.

2| Duolingoduolingo

How many of us make a New Year’s resolution to learn a new language? Now you can keep it by learning a new language using this app! I have been using this to brush up on my Spanish as well as exploring the idea of learning French! The app is designed for more of a beginner level language course so it’s pretty ideal when you are just starting out a new language. The courses incorporates writing, reading, and listening questions. You also have the option to do speaking exercises as well.

3| StudyBlue/Quizlet

quizlet

I have a love/hate relationship with flashcards. They are really useful for studying but sometimes I don’t find it worth the hand cramp to write them all out. Luckily, I stumbled upon both of these apps which allow you to make flashcards on your phone! And if you want to get even lazier, you can search your class or topic to see if other people have already made similar flashcards. (haha studying of the future, am I right?) So, after you’ve gone through the flashcards a couple times you may want to quiz yourself a different way. Lucky for you, on Quizlet you can generate a quiz from your flashcard set and format questions as multiple choice or fill in the blank. If you like flashcards or need a new way to study, this app could really help you out!

4| Hoopla

hoopla

College students are usually so busy they forget to keep up on their reading! (people still read…right?) This app connects you to your local library where you can check out ebooks, audio-books and even movies! I personally use this app a lot because I may not have time to sit there and read a book but I can turn on an audio-book and listen while I clean, do laundry, or whatever other nonsense around the house. It could also be used for the times when you have to do a book report so instead of reading the book, you can have someone read it for you (well..to you haha).

5| Chegg

chegg

College textbooks are expensive and no one has that kind of money (or wants to spend it) on boring books you’ll probably only need for a few months. I found out about Chegg from another blog somewhere, ironically, when I first started college and it has been a really big help! You can buy OR rent textbooks and some textbooks are also available as an ebook. When you rent the book they make it super easy to return by printing the prepaid shipping label and stuffing those books right back in the box they came from. Chegg can be more than textbooks though. They also offer study help and even have textbook solutions for a lot of different books. (Chegg is awesome – I approve) And if you’re not already sold, they also send a free gift with your textbooks!

6| Groupme

groupme

This is a great app to use to keep you in touch with classmates for group projects and study help. It acts as a group text message so you can set up a group for your class and add your classmates/group partners. I really like this app because it connects you together even when you are out of service range by sending the messages through wifi. Keep your group connected!

7| myHomework – Student Planner

myhomework

This is basically your student planner, on your phone. You add in your class schedule to get started organizing your semester. The app allows you to color code the assignments for each class and set due dates. You can also categorize the assignments by type such as an essay, or presentation. The app will notify you of upcoming due dates and you can also set a timer to remind you about an assignment (so you know when to start working on it). Cross of assignments that you finish so you can track your progress! As if this app wasn’t amazing enough, this can still be used when you are not connected to wifi! (Seriously…get this app)

8| BlackBoard

blackboard

So this app is really only useful if your school uses this program. It connects you to your classes and allows you to see your grades in that course (…depending on if your teacher decides to use this to post grades and keeps up with it). Teachers can post course information such as assignment rubrics and the syllabus. Overall, it’s a really great interactive app to help you keep up with your courses.

9| Evernote

evernote.png

I think we have almost moved pass the days of taking lecture notes using pen and paper. Using Evernote, you can take classnotes and organize files into a notebook layout. If you’re like me and still like to take notes by hand (we are a rare species) you are able to get the best of both worlds with this one! Instead of typing up your notes you can take a picture or scan your handwritten notes and add them to your notebook on the app! This keeps all of your notes together and organized in one place. This app can also be used to make to-do lists or shopping lists if that’s your thing. Lastly, you are able to share your journal with others OR collaborate as a group to create a class journal. Pretty great, huh?

10| Mint

mint

Although some of us may not feel like it, we are adults now, and being an adult brings many more responsibilities we have to keep track of. An important one of these is keeping track of our finances (adult word for “money”) and budgeting. Apps like Mint make this easy for us! Mint allows you to stay on top of any bills that you have as well as keeps track of where your credit score stands. The feature I like about Mint is that it shows you a breakdown of your spending habits (spending $20 on Starbucks coffee mostly). This is very useful information because it allows you to see where your money goes/why it’s always gone and you can work from there to create a budget for yourself. Get out there and start adulting!!


Guys, I really hope you found these apps useful and maybe even give some of them a try! They are all free apps (good for your budget) and very helpful! We all have a lot on our plates with university courses, work, and trying to somehow maintain a social life. Why not try making things easier?

Be sure to leave a comment if there are any apps YOU use and find really helpful! I am always interested and finding new ones!

Fairwinds!

Three Types of Days

 

There are Three Types of Days –

One of my professors once told me: As we go through life we will experience three different types of days.

Some days will be amazing and we will feel like we are on top of the world, capable of taking on anything. These are the good days.

Other days will be average, run of the mill kind of days. Nothing too exciting but also nothing to really complain about either.

Then we will have days that are horrible. The days we lay in bed wondering, searching for a good enough reason to get up and face the world. These days are what will define us and is ultimately what will bring individuals together.

How you decide to deal with these bad days will define how strong you are. If you are able to overcome and push forward you will gain a sense of accomplishment which will ultimately make you stronger and more equipt to handle the next bad day. There will always be bad days, but remember to keep moving forward because there will also be good days.