The Quiet Room By: Lori Schiller & Amanda Bennett

A fascinating and heart-wrenching, true story of a 17 year old girl’s struggle to find a foothold in reality.

The book walks you through the life of Lori Schiller (yes, she also helped write the book as well!). It gives you a first-hand look at what it is really like to develop and live with Schizophrenia. You see the progression of her disease, follow her progress through years of treatment, and feel for her as she slowly tries to re-establish her life.

The story begins when she was 17 years old. Lori was a normal teenager then. She came from a good home with loving and supportive parents that pushed her to do her best to succeed in life. She just graduated high school and was now contemplating her future while trying to enjoy her last summer before college. As she left to work at a summer camp, nothing was out of the ordinary – until the Voices came.

Lori tries everything she can to get away from the nagging Voices in her head. She tries running, she tries blasting music or sleeping but, nothing helps. The Voices grow louder and louder until eventually, she is unable to ignore their presence. They leave her debilitated. She loses jobs, friends, drops out of college and attempts suicide. She can do nothing to escape the torture and feels alone because no one else can hear what she hears.

Her parents believe at first that their daughter is just stressed and will bounce-back if given the time to relax. Of course, this doesn’t work out despite their best efforts. They seek help and treatment for Lori but, are unaccepting of Lori’s real need for Psychiatric help. They don’t want to believe that their perfect daughter has some scary mental disorder. No. Lori is just stressed, she just needs a social life and friends.

Lori is moved to a different hospital when doctors decide there is nothing more they can do for her. They had tried treating her for what they thought was Bipolar Disorder but, she was not getting better. The doctors assigned to help Lori at the new hospital come up with a new diagnosis – Schizophrenia and start her on treatment and require her to live at the hospital.

Her mother visits often, even though sometimes she doesn’t want to. She feels like the Lori she had raised is gone, and she wants desperately for that little girl to come back. Sometimes the visits go really well – Lori is able to hold a conversation and actually seems present. Other times she may slip away into her own world – unable to hear her mother’s voice or even acknowledge her presence. Her mother leaves the hospital in tears almost every time.

Finally, Lori is allowed to leave the hospital and move back in with her parents. Nothing is the same though, nothing can ever be the way it was before. Her parents are afraid to leave her alone with fear she might try to harm herself. Lori is depressed and alone – no longer feeling comfortable in her own skin.

In an effort to move forward, Lori finds a job waiting at a restaurant/bar. She struggles to keep up with the fast pace but puts in her best effort. The Voices are still very much a part of her every day life. She tries to ignore them as best as she can but ultimately turns to drugs to bring her the relief and silence she’s been craving.

After yet another suicide attempt, she is taken back to the hospital. Instead of being released back home, Lori moves into a halfway house through a program at the hospital. She will stay at the home and report to the hospital every day for activities and monitoring. She is given responsibilities at the home such as cleaning and cooking in order to help ensure she will have the skills necessary to eventually live on her own.

Lori tries hard to get better but her efforts are all for not after she relapses yet again. This time she is put in a long-term stay psychiatric ward of the hospital. It is there that she meets two Psychiatrists that help her get to the root of the problems – the meaning behind the voices. Their therapy combined with medications helped calm the voices in Lori’s head. Lori finally had the courage and strength to fight them off and the will to push herself to get better.

The final effort to help her came in the form of a new and experimental drug called Clozapine. When Lori heard about this drug and how it had been able to help some patients with Schizophrenia, she begged her psychiatrist to let her try it. Her Psych was hesitant because not only was there a possibility that it wouldn’t work, there was also a chance it might kill her. She does given in and decide to put Lori on Clozapine. Once treatment began, Lori showed a lot of improvement. This sort of hazy cloud she had been living under was finally starting to dissipate – and with it, the Voices. For once she felt normal, she finally felt more like herself.

Review

One thing that was really well done with this book was the alternating narratives. Some of the “chapters” are written by other people in Lori’s life which allows the reader to understand not only how Schizophrenia affects the individual but, how it affects their family and friends as well. Her parents had a hard time accepting her diagnosis and tried their best to not lose hope throughout the entire process of seeking treatment to help their daughter.

I think this book sheds a light on the reality of mental disorders and the true torment someone suffering with them can go through. A lot of people don’t really think about the affects of trying to live a normal life when everything is far from normal in your own mind. To Lori, those Voices were Real. She could hear them as clear as anything else. It wasn’t something she made up for attention or something she was able to just ‘turn off’. Her whole way of thinking was altered – her perception of reality, all because of Schizophrenia.

Honestly, this is a really great book to read if you’re looking to delve deeper into the world of Psychiatry, to understand the true reality of Schizophrenia. Especially if you are interested in therapy. It could help you be more sympathetic and aware of what some patients and their families are really going through.

I believe it also shows strength and perseverance which can be encouraging to those who may be going through hard times in their life, especially with dealing with a mental disorder. It shows that no matter how bad things can get, there is always hope.

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Fairwinds,

Capn Kelso

I like the sounds that slide off your tongue

pushed softly through the air

a sea of vibrations

reverberating in the sound of lonely thoughts

words that calm unseen storms

I dream to understand the inner working of your mind

to articulate in the way you do because

darling, collections of syllables taste better

coming from your mouth

penetrating internal contradictions

with tricky perceptions of reality

but this reality could last forever and

I would make deals with the devil for a love like yours

if you at least say you’ll stay until the moon dies

-kelsey seay

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“Books are a uniquely portable magic.”- Stephen King

On dreary, rainy days I love to grab a blanket and one of my favorite books and just nest myself in. There’s just something about reading while it’s pouring rain outside that just feels so right.

I mentioned before that I love to read and I have been trying to squeeze in time to read more in between endless school work and my job. BUT for those of you who are still actively reading or looking for another great book to get your hands on, I put together a short list of some of my favorites.

So sit back, relax, and read on!

The Good Marriage Stephen King

Since Stephen King was also the quote featured on today’s post I thought it would be fitting to include one of his titles. The Good Marriage is actually one of his short stories but, it is still an amazingly written book (obviously). I really love the writing style King has and how he so effortlessly lays out the plot.

The story is about a married couple (duh), who seem to really have their lives put together and have a great relationship. The wife, Darcy, thinks her husband is an amazing man and a great husband. That is until one day while her husband is away on a business trip and she accidentally stumbles upon what appears to be a secret hidey-hole. What she finds inside could tie him to a string of murders that have been all over the news committed by a serial killer known as Beady. Her whole world is turned upside down as she questions everything she knew about her husband and their relationship!

This short story was published in his book Full Dark – No Stars which features more of his short stories. I definitely recommend checking this book out, especially if your into reading thriller type books or have read any of Stephen King’s other works!

Identical Ellen Hopkins

While we are on the topic of thrillers, Identical is another one of my favorites and is written by one of my all time favorite authors – Ellen Hopkins. The way she writes her book is pretty unique in that she uses a poem style writing and plays around with the actual shape of the words on each page. This book in particular is one of her best ones, in my opinion. The plot twists are unbelievable, a real page-turner!

The book is written from the perspective of identical twin sisters, Raeanne and Kaeleigh. Their family is not what most would call healthy. Due to a horrific car accident in the past, their family has been torn apart. Their mother seems unable to express any sort of loving emotions and is never really home. Because of this lack of love, their father tries to find love in other unconventional (and inappropriate) ways through his daughter, Kaeleigh.

Kaeleigh struggles to comprehend and deal with the abuse from her father while still trying to maintain a good relationship with him. She becomes depressed and starts finding other ways to express her pain. Raeleigh, on the other hand, wishes her father would love her more and struggles to gain his love and affection. She acts out, trying to fill this void with drugs and sex. Both girls are struggling at home, at school and in their own personal relationships. They spiral further into bad habits and addictions, trying to find themselves. They are identical, maybe in more ways than it seems.

The Giver Lois Lowry

This book has been popping up in my life forever, it seems. Some of you may have read this during school reading groups in elementary or middle school. Maybe you only watched the movie that came out a couple years ago that was based on it (trust me, the book was waayy better). Whether you’ve read it before or not, this book is always a great read!

The Giver is set in an alternate society that was developed in order to make things easier for humans and avoid conflicts within societies. They are assigned a life partner, apply for children (only 2 per family) and are even given an assigned job upon reaching age 12. Their whole lives are planned out for them. They do not even experience negative emotions or understand the feelings of pain, hunger, or even death. Everything is numbed down.

Not only are the lives planned out and simple, so is the environment in which they all live. There are no colors but, since they don’t know what “color” is they do not understand that something is missing. There is basically no weather, so they will never be too hot or too cold. Everything is simple, strategic and planned out. These emotions and experiences did not quite disappear, however. There is one man in the entire society, known as the Receiver, that is in charge of remembering this part of the history of the human race. His purpose is to help the leaders make decisions using the knowledge of the past.

The main character, Jonah, is chosen to replace the current Receiver. He begins to experience the past and feels all the pain and emotions that were taken away from him. He experiences a sort of “enlightenment” as he begins to see the world as it really is and how it used to be. He struggles with what to do next with all of this knowledge because he wants to the people to understand what is really going on!

Saint Anything Sarah Dessen

I have probably read every single one of Sarah Dessen’s books so I had to give a shout out to one of her more recent releases, Saint Anything. A lot of her books incorporate strong themes of family and self discovery and I think this book focus on that even more.

The story follows a girl, Sydney, who is desperately trying to find a place for herself in the world, at school and even in her own family. After causing an accident while drunk driving and sentenced to jail, her brother – Peyton, becomes the center of her parent’s attention. They are worried about how this will affect his future and trying to find any way they can to help him through this process. Meanwhile, Sydney is more worried about the victim of the accident. In a way, she feels guilty for her brother even when she had nothing to do with it.

In all the craziness that is going on around her she meets the Chatham family who run a local pizza parlor. They are a warm, boisterous family who accept her as one of their own. The siblings in the family all help run the family business as well as work together to help take care of their mother who has multiple sclerosis.

One of these siblings is Mac who is everything she needs. He is protective, understanding and gentle around her and they just seem to work perfectly together. This is a story about finding love and a home when you feel as if the whole world is crumbing around you.

Ghost Boy Martin Pistorius

This is not normally the genre I go for when choosing books to read but, as I was shopping for new books a while back I happened to see this one sitting on the shelf and it’s cover really drew me in. I read the summary and decided to give it a try and I was not disappointed! His story is so heart-wrenching and inspiring. It is definitely worth checking out!

This is an autobiography about Martin’s life. When he was a young child he became very ill and doctor’s couldn’t figure out what was causing it or how to fix it. His functionality slowly declined until he could no longer do anything for himself. He couldn’t speak or walk and he basically had no control of his own body movement. What people didn’t know was that Martin’s mind was still very aware of the world around him.

He struggled with being able to see the pain and worry in his parent’s eyes but was helpless – unable to comfort them. He desperately wanted to let someone know he was still there, a prisoner inside his own body!

One day, a nurse finally notices! She said that she could see it in his eyes that he understood what she was saying to him, he just had no way to respond. She helped push for him to get training and help using certain programs that could essentially give him a voice. He worked very hard in finding a program that would actually work for him as well as trying to train the muscles in his hand so he could have better control of them.

What he could do with these programs at first, was type. He joined chat rooms were he talked with people all over the world. One of those people also turns out to be the love of his life!

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Alright, I hope you enjoyed this short list of some of my favorite books! I hope you choose to check them out or have already read some of them!

Fairwinds!

comment below one of your favorite books and let me know if you’ve read any of the ones on my list!

Mental Health Awareness

Mental Health is IMPORTANT

I seriously cannot even stress this enough. Your mental health is so important and is just as important as your physical health. You would go to the doctor if you experience symptoms of illness but, are you also going to a therapist or psychiatrist when you experience a change in your mental health? You should know what your normal thoughts and behaviors are in varying situations so that when you realize yourself deviating from the norm significantly you can determine when you should seek help. Being shy can be someone’s normal personality trait but being so anxious about being around people that you slowly begin to withdraw yourself and avoid social situations at all costs is typically not a sign of healthy mental status. Be in tune with your body AND your mind.

Don’t Be Embarraced to Seek Help

There is such a negative connotation about people going to therapy or needing psychiatric health and there really shouldn’t be. Some people need a professional outside perspective on their situation or they may even need medication to help balance their emotions or neurotransmitter production/lack of production. There is no reason for someone to be ashamed of going to therapy or a Psychiatrist because they are actively trying to improve their mental health. When someone avoids seeking help because they are concerned about what other’s might think of them this can lead to more problems by prolonging the symptoms and repressing whatever troubling feelings or other symptoms they may have.

Encourage your friends to seek help if you notice a sudden change in their mood or personality. Usually the people close to you are going to be the ones who will notice a change.

Mental Disorders Are REAL

I that think because of the negative connotations of mental health and mental disorders people view them as a rarity and belittle their existence. When people who do not understand the severe affects mental disorders can have on a person they may not be able to sympathize with the person. Anxiety and depression disorders are probably one of the most common mental disorders being diagnosed today. These disorders can really disrupt someone’s life and everyday functioning.

If you are not affected by mental disorders, you should still be aware of them and sympathize with those who are affected. Saying things like “I am so OCD about ___” or “I just have social anxiety when I ___”, although may seem like innocent statements can express an ignorance of someone’s mental suffering. So, BE AWARE